It implies that I found my husband on my own accord. Necessary follow-up questions may then include: Is he Indian? He is. From which part of India does his family originate? And other information about him occupation and age and his family how many in the nuclear unit, where do they live, their occupations, etc. How do they really feel about their child having picked their own spouse? But my parents had also raised two strong-minded, independent daughters in the States, and we often made our opinions known.
Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Is The Talk Of India — And Not In A Good Way
Instead, I laughed at hilarious scenes between Indian American families redolent of my family. Released on July 16, this Netflix original is produced by the Oscar-nominated documentary filmmaker Smriti Mundhra, who communicates a middle way between arranged marriages and modern dating. I am in the second camp and let me tell you why. Some of my relatives immigrated to the United States.
Many of them are still in India.
Then there was the time my dad told me I was disinvited to his future funeral, because my preference was to date whomever I wanted as opposed to accepting an arranged marriage and that was an embarrassment to the family. He conveniently denies this ever happened, for the record. The reality show follows Sima Taparia, a professional matchmaker from Mumbai who travels around the world helping Indian clients find suitable matches for marriage.
Rather, marriage is a transaction between two families. Some of her clients are parents who are desperate to get their children married, others are marriage seekers themselves who turned to her service after they were unsuccessful meeting people on dating apps and elsewhere. What struck me most was that, in many cases, the characters we meet are not seeking acceptance and affection from a partner, but from their own families.
Seeing the pressure unfold literally gave me anxiety. Critics have been quick to point out how problematic the show is. Everyone shown is relatively well-off, and there are no queer or Muslim characters. The blatant colorism, sexism and weight-related comments we witness in “Indian Matchmaking” is jarring. The thing is, none of this is news to people in the Indian community.
We Need to Talk About ‘Indian Matchmaking’
In the two weeks or four years since Indian Matchmaking debuted on Netflix I just checked: It’s 10 days , I have watched my fellow South Asians do what we do best: Rip it apart. The Netflix reality show follows Mumbai matchmaker Sima Taparia as she takes on various clients looking to settle down. It has been called casteist, colorist, regressive — all the adjectives my generation of allegedly progressive Desis use to describe things we criticize or reject about our culture.
It is being maligned, in short, for doing exactly what it meant to: Presenting a multifaceted depiction of Indians around the world through the lens of our collective obsession: Marriage.
Netflix missed an opportunity to challenge a social system fraught with cultural biases, and also educate a global audience on important.
Five years ago, I met with a matchmaker. I went in scornful. Like many of my progressive South Asian peers, I denounced arranged marriage as offensive and regressive. But when the matchmaker recited her lengthy questionnaire, I grasped, if just for a beat, why people did things this way. Do you believe in a higher power? No idea.
How Matchmakers Work
An honest perspectiv While the two lovers have the opportunity to go on actual dates and have some liberties when it comes to deciding their spouse, Sima Aunty is more or less setting up arranged marriages — an ancient tradition in many Asian countries, especially in India. Add to Chrome.
The Netflix hit “Indian Matchmaking” has stirred up conversations about issues like parental preference in marriage, cultural progress, casteism.
That it is of a simple form without showing it. The conclusion you have to meet Taparia brides- and grooms-to-be — often with their parents acts tow — developer. Suitors have a powerful argument presented in the paper seasons, and for this purpose it should match match. Object of derision, they were talents that they should, for example, Taparia Seek taken place astrologist and reads. Of Sima that harmonizes the Taparia of hope, to meet the investors. But the show is not contextualize to contend with the problems of faith led by character, in presenting them to the status quo.
Skin color, and the reality is, then, In Indian culture, the lion is the dignity of all. People with darker skin tones, while the hardened and in force are the subject of the crisis, the cooperation with the complain of the injustice and restored to beauty, wealth, and power. The early years of culture carried out in this was a sentiment to have had to bear more than fair skin, with the women in order to social pressure.
For people with fair skin look good, not only as a requirement. In my case, it began when he was in middle school in India, after he refused to help me with my classmates have darker skin.
By Sajmun Sachdev August 11, But while I was celebrating what I found to be a super authentic look into the world of matchmaking, arranged marriages and Indian family dynamics, many reviewers and tweeters made me realize that I may be the only South Asian woman who was. So seeing that representation in Indian Matchmaking made me feel proud: Finally an Indian filmmaker had accomplished what we got into this industry to do: She put us on TV.
The controversial Netflix show Indian Matchmaking has reignited debate In that sense, it reinforces dated stereotypes about Indian culture.
The first season of the show has missed presenting an all-round and inclusive picture of the Indian reality. That Indian Matchmaking has upset people across the spectrum is slightly baffling given we are a culture obsessed with arranged marriages. Newspapers embellished with matrimonial adverts — ridiculous and regressive in equal measure — are perhaps the oldest testimonies to our fixation with this robust institution.
With Indian Matchmaking , this well-preserved secret is out for Western edification and that is perhaps the reason for our collective outrage against the show. The merits and demerits of this criticism levelled against the show can be emphatically argued when placed within the cultural context our society. Zara and I are far removed when it comes to our religion. I am a Hindu and she a Muslim. It is then a little unsettling that, knowingly or unknowingly, we are turning into a culture that is systematically working towards homogenising collective experiences often at the cost of a particular community.
The Indian Muslim is either cast as an insider crusading against or paying the price of the transgressions of fellow brethren Mulk, My Name is Khan, Kedarnath or an out and out threat to the very idea of India Padmaavat, Tanhaji, Mission Kashmir, Fiza who needs to be eliminated at all costs.
‘Indian Matchmaking’: The Dark Reality Behind Your Latest Netflix Binge
But while the process regarding matchmaking becomes more clear, there is an entire political and cultural context to the tradition which remains.
Arranged marriage is a tradition in the societies of the Indian subcontinent , and continue to account for an overwhelming majority of marriages in the Indian subcontinent. Arranged marriages are believed to have initially risen to prominence in the Indian subcontinent when the historical Vedic religion gradually gave way to classical Hinduism the ca. The Indian subcontinent has historically been home to a wide variety of wedding systems. Some were unique to the region, such as Swayamvara which was rooted in the historical Vedic religion and had a strong hold in popular culture because it was the procedure used by Rama and Sita.
In a swayamvara , the girl’s parents broadcast the intent of the girl to marry and invited all interested men to be present in a wedding hall on a specific date and time. The girl, who was also often given some prior knowledge about the men or was aware of their general reputation, would circulate the hall and indicate her choice by garlanding the man she wanted to marry.
Sometimes the father of the bride would arrange for a competition among the suitors, such as a feat of strength, to help in the selection process.
For Chicago lawyer, life after ‘Indian Matchmaking’ has been ‘an adjustment’
It follows professional matchmaker Sima Taparia as she tries to connect Indian singles both in India and the United States. Some people are calling it binge-worthy, while others call it offensive. Kalita says the show provides an accurate depiction of matchmaking in Indian society. They want someone who works but who doesn’t work too hard, right? They want someone who’s ambitious but not too ambitious.
Though the ethnographic research has been conducted in India, this book is of relevance to social scientists studying matchmaking practices, youth cultures.
Add to that the unique challenges of matchmaking, for instance, an Indian Guyanese wedding planner and high school counsellor with a criminal father — its not always a straight-forward affair. However, Taparia takes it all in her stride. With the help of a motely crew of agents, including a dubious face reader, astrologer, life coach and even another matchmaker, Taparia meets, assesses and matches singletons in the hope of hearing wedding bells and earning her top end commission.
More interesting perhaps is the darker, real side of Indian culture and matchmaking factors that come into play. Had this series been made with working class urban or rural families under the lens, the actual reality of Indian matchmaking would have been exposed. Maybe that could be an idea for season two. Email: info indiaincgroup. Web: India Inc. Share This Article!
Arranged marriage in the Indian subcontinent
Follow Us. The controversial Netflix show has reignited debate over traditional marriage matches, but without interrogating harmful stereotypes, says Meehika Barua. One evening in late November when I was heading for a meeting in Holborn, my Indian friend, who is 25, texted me to say that she was getting married. Trains went by as I stood at London Bridge station, typing furiously, glaring at my phone. The arranged marriage had been fixed up by her parents.
She had met the guy, liked him, and so, they agreed to get married.
I was a little worried how Indians would be portrayed, especially to people who aren’t familiar with a culture where arranged marriages are.
Every reality show has at least one villain. As Sima and the show itself frequently remind us, arranged marriage is not quite the form of social control it used to be; everyone here emphasizes that they have the right to choose or refuse the matches presented to them. But as becomes especially clear when Sima works in India, that choice is frequently and rather roughly pressured by an anvil of social expectations and family duty.
In the most extreme case, a year-old prospective groom named Akshay Jakhete is practically bullied by his mother, Preeti, into choosing a bride. Indian Matchmaking smartly reclaims and updates the arranged marriage myth for the 21st century, demystifying the process and revealing how much romance and heartache is baked into the process even when older adults are meddling every step of the way. Though these families use a matchmaker, the matching process is one the entire community and culture is invested in.
In the case of Netflix’s Indian Matchmaking , it’s Sima Taparia , a globetrotting matchmaker from Mumbai who’s supposedly the best in the business, and these aren’t just dates, but first meetings that could rapidly blossom into an arranged marriage. The show follows her as she sets up eight nitpicky Indians and Indian Americans while satisfying their rigid families.
But in reality, Indian Matchmaking is far less comprehensive in its view of arranged marriage than it appears. In the time since its July 16 release, the show has become a lightning rod for controversy over its depictions of sexism, casteism, and colorism; memes, meanwhile, have flooded the internet.
In Indian Matchmaking, that villain is year-old Aparna Shewakramani, a prospective bride who’s critical of every man she meets and vocal.
I was on the phone with my mother, who lives in Pune, India, complaining about Indian Matchmaking , when she brought up the marriage proposal. I knew she agreed. I scoffed. But watch Indian Matchmaking , and you may end the eight-episode arc of the smartly edited, highly bingeable show with a misleading idea of how arranged marriages actually work. The Netflix reality show follows Sima Taparia, a matchmaker from Mumbai whose pen-and-paper spreadsheets of potential suitors is far from the most outdated thing about her.
She flies back and forth between the U. Women need to cook. Men need to provide. Most women who hire Taparia on Indian Matchmaking are accomplished professionals with hobbies and a social life. And every one of them is told to compromise and adjust expectations.